


Be Alone

by TheZaffreSilverfish



Category: Undertale
Genre: And an Adult, Anything I forgot?, Cuties in Love being Cute, Fluff, Frisk is male, Lotsa Headcannon Ahead, M/M, Masturbation, Now With Extra Fluff, Papyrus - Freeform, Sex Toys, Soulmate AU, sans pov, surface AU, this is smutty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-03 17:52:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16330799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheZaffreSilverfish/pseuds/TheZaffreSilverfish
Summary: Staring at the shelf of dildos I spotted the most wonderful one they sold. It came in multiple colors but the one I was interested in was the EXACT color of Sans' magic. That deep blue of integrity with golden flakes of justice. It was love at first sight.Then I understood the size.----





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is really different from most things I've written or will be posting, in that this is actually unfinished. There is another part, and if this one is well received I'll be posting the second half. As it is I feel like it's not missing anything, but I did write a continuation.
> 
> This one shot features a male Frisk. Not very common, but I do like it for the headcannons I used. Plus this is most plausible with a male character.
> 
> Having said all that, enjoy!

Sans and I had been dating for a while the first time I ever saw it. As a joke Undyne had dragged me to a sex store, and spent half the time searching for things that would make me uncomfortable. I, however, became quite fascinated with the selection of dildos for sale.

It was no surprise to me that Sans was the more dominant one in our relationship, but we'd never gone the whole way in the time we'd been together. I think Sans didn't like that he was technically much older than me in human years- monsters matured slower and then practically lived forever, and Sans had only fully matured a little before I fell- so he didn't try and broach the subject with me. He wanted to wait until I was fully grown and filled out before bonding with me, slowing my aging to a more monster-like timeline.

Of course, I wasn't far off, having officially turned eighteen a few months ago. The bastard found research proving that human males continued to develop until twenty years of age. Now I had another two planetary rotations ahead of me before Sans would consent to a Soul Bonding, and at least another few months before I could cajole him into anything more than chaste kisses.

Staring at the shelf of dildos I spotted the most wonderful one they sold. It came in multiple colors but the one I was interested in was the EXACT color of Sans' magic. That deep blue of integrity with golden flakes of justice. It was love at first sight.

Then I understood the size.

"Holy shit!" I whispered, not wanting to alert my scaly friend to my find quite yet. "Why the fuck do they make sixteen inch dildos?!"

This massive blue dick in it's pretty packaging sat ever so innocently on the shelf, like it wasn't the largest phallic object I'd ever seen in my life. It was decently thick around too, which made it as pleasurable to think about as to see on the shelf.

"I'd really have to work up to that..." I murmured, already knowing I was gonna buy the damned thing. It was the exact color of the magic- and though I hadn't seen it yet, magic cock- my soulmate possessed, there was no way I was going to pass up an opportunity like this. And if they sold it, it was possible.

Of course, buying it meant buying other, smaller ones as well. There was no amount of self-prep and lube that could ever be enough to prepare me for something like that.

Finding a discreet sales lady- dressed in some of the stores' more concealing lingerie- I asked if it would be alright to take photos of some of the merchandise because I didn't want to buy it in front of Undyne.

"As long as I'm right there so you don't take pictures of anything you aren't supposed to." She replied evenly. I lead her back to the dildo aisle, and she looked shocked when my first picture was of the lovely blue monstrous cock.

"Don't ask." I told her, before pondering the various sizes and colors of my smaller options. In total there were three smaller ones that suited my needs, plus the big blue one, all in blue or golden yellow variants.

The sales lady seemed extremely confused.

"My boyfriend is a monster and the really big one is the exact color of his magic." I told her bluntly, smiling at the mention of my skeleton.

She chuckled. "That's quite the purchase. I'm sure you'll fluster him when he finds out."

"Oh I plan to."

\----

Four days later I went back to the same store, a bit more cash than I needed pulled out and all ready to go in my wallet.

"All righty Frisky," I murmured, flicking my wrists to relieve some of the tension, "they're only dildos. Don't get a head of yourself." Realizing the accidental pun, I chuckled and walked into the store.

The same woman from the other day was at the counter, and she smiled when she saw me.

"I made sure to put the ones you wanted on hold. Can't have you settling for another color, can we?" She winked with a laugh. I blushed as she pulled a large white paper bag out from under the counter.

"Thanks." I told her. "I really appreciate it." Redness spread from my cheeks down to my neck and ears.

"You'll be needing a lot of lube too. Any preferences?"

An obscene amount of money and a perusal of a large selection of lube later and I safely made my way from the store, the nondescript white bag making me walk more confidently than I otherwise would have coming out of a sex store.

Heh. Sans is a really bad influence on me.

I could hardly wait for the perfect opportunity to try out my new toys, and it wouldn't be long until I did.

The next day was a Wednesday, meaning everyone else had work while I didn't. I lived with Paps and Sans, and had for a few years after Mama Tori and Papa Gorey got really too busy for me to stay with them. The local government was easier to negotiate with, but on a national level the two were gone all the time writing legislation and making speeches about monsterkind. After things had settled I was more content to live with my two skeleton friends, my life gaining some much needed normalcy.

Point was-- I'd be alone until Papyrus got home at five. He worked as an elementary school gym teacher and coached the school teams. Sans worked at the lab with Alphys, and normally got home around five-thirty. Wednesday was my mid-week "day off" from college.

I decided to not waste any time, knowing I'd need to be good and cleaned up before Paps got home. I locked the door to my room, before thinking better of it. The front door was locked, I'd hear it if someone came in, even Sans teleporting made a popping sound. That done, I propped open the window to keep my room from getting too hot and stuffy, letting the autumn breeze float in. The slight chill of the air prickled my skin in a good way, the quiet atmosphere buzzing with the anticipation of what my day would be filled with.

I stripped down fully, not bothering with any preamble or teasing. There would be plenty of time for that. I smiled as I tossed my clothes into the hamper before settling on my bed with the bag of fake dicks.

"Who knew people took such care in packaging these things?" I said aloud, a bad habit I picked up from Papyrus.

It was true though. Aside from just the discreet boxes they'd been placed in, the dildos were protected by a thick layer of molded, clear plastic that took me a good half hour to get through. Eventually, however- after much more effort than I'll ever let on- I had four fully unwrapped silicone polymer cocks in front of me on the bed. I took a moment to laugh at myself, wondering exactly what I had signed myself up for.

"No time like the present, I guess." I murmured, searching through the ripped and shredded packaging on the floor for the big bottle of lube. The lady said it would provide a tingling sensation, which was odd but intriguing. I mostly bought it because it was glittery. I might have a penis but glitter is glitter, and it's only ever too much of Mettaton gets ahold of it.

True to form though, the lube did indeed tingle. Sort of a Pop-Rocks-like sensation across my fingers as I coated them with a generous layer of the stuff. My dick began to take an interest in the proceedings at that point, and I carefully reached my hand back to my entrance, positioned on my knees with my chest buried in a pillow, my ass presented to the room.

Now, it wasn't like I'd never fingered myself before. I knew roughly what I was getting into from an entire four years of practice. I still let out a soft gasp as the lube touched the tight ring of flesh- the soft, almost ticklish feeling radiating out from my fingers adding a new dimension to the pleasure I was used to.

"She wasn't lying..." I trailed off absently. "This stuff is amazing."

Groaning quietly I pressed in one finger, worming it back as deep as it would go, the lube following and instantly heightening my experience. A brief look down showed that I was now fully erect- always a good place to be when masturbating. I chuckled to myself before continuing.

I was never exactly quiet unless I had to be, though mostly in life I'd found that not saying anything could get you further than constantly chattering. Now, of course, that philosophy was out the window as small whines and moans escaped me as I continued to work myself open, going back for lube often enough that I was really glad I had laid a towel down before I started. Some of the lube ran down my groin, and the zinging pleasure of the lube on my dick was maddeningly pleasurable. I had to keep going though- I didn't want to finish early- so I left my aching member alone.

After four of my fingers had worked their way into my entrance I nearly had to force myself to pull them out, deeming that my slender hands could no longer be of much use. A hasty swipe of my hand across the towel left it dry enough for me to reach over and grab one of the dildos. Though I was groping blind I managed to snag the smallest one-- a modest six inches, bright blue, and fairly girthy. My general expectations for my favorite bone boy.

Covering the plastic toy in more lube- I was quickly going to run out at the rate I was going here- I giggled a bit at the absurdity of it all before gently pushing the toy into my ass, my laughter choking off at the pleasure. If my own fingers felt good, that was nothing on this thing.

"Holy shit..." I breathed, my hips rocking into my hand, the base of the dildo pressed against my ass. "If this is what Sans is packing I'm set for fuckin' life." I moaned out, moving the toy gently. Anal sex could really hurt if you didn't do it right, and that meant taking time and going slow, hence the many phallic objects at my disposal.

I experimented a bit with angles and the like- occasionally breathily laughing to myself at the dumb jokes I knew Sans would make- until I pressed just right and my vision sparked white as I let out a "oh, fuck!" that tapered off into a long moan as I pressed the tip of the dildo against the spot again. I'd never been able to reach my prostate with my own fingers before, and fuck did it feel nice.

Getting the hang of things, I decided to go up a level, deeming my ass more than prepared for the next one. This one was quite a bit longer at nine and a half inches, a bit thicker around, and was a golden yellow with blue glitter trapped in the polymer. I quite liked it, even if yellow was an unusual color for a dildo.

"I think I'll call this one 'The Judge'." I said, coating it in lube. Letting out an inelegant snort my head dropped onto my wrists as I laughed loudly. "Holy shit... I'm really glad no one heard that!" I said in-between bursts of laughter. "Jeez who names their fuckin' dildos?"

Apparently I did.

My laughter waned as I prized the six-incher from my entrance, casting it aside onto the other towel I'd placed on the floor. Taking a deep breath, I pressed the larger pseudo-cock in at a slower pace than the first, shakily letting out moans as I eased it in carefully. There was a slight twinge of pain once I got it fully seated, my muscles clamping down around the larger shape, but a twitch had the toy pressing into my prostate, and all pain was forgotten instantly.

While I waited for my body to adjust I changed positions slightly. I widened my legs so my hips and pelvis pushed my ass further into the air, taking the strain off my upper back and allowing my knees to relax a little. I also changed hands, planting my left solidly under me instead of behind me. Once I was set I gripped the toy and started moving with it, not holding back at all.

The six inch one felt amazing, but the nine inch hit places I didn't know existed. Just the simple thrusts I was managing, nothing fancy, were enough to drive me closer to orgasm in mere minutes. Panting and resisting the urge to stroke myself I slowed down, determined to last until the mega cock was buried as far in as it would go. That was the goal and I was sticking to it goddamnit.

Edging myself was fun however, and my body readily responded to the larger source of tingling stimulation, leaving me with tears in my eyes with how good the burning pleasure was.

"Hah... fuck... Sans," I heard myself moan out, Sans name being the only thing my conscious mind could keep a hold on. "Mmm... fuck me..." I blurted out into the empty room, before ramming the toy cock into myself as fast and hard as I dared, raising the volume and pitch of my moans.

The third time I seriously contemplated letting myself finish I pulled out the dildo before I was able to come from the pleasure of being filled alone. I sat back onto my knees, knowing I'd never make it if I didn't cool down a bit. Rolling my shoulders I distracted myself by drinking from the large glass of water I'd put by the bed, and checked the time.

12:30 p.m. Perfect. Still had plenty of time before I needed to start being productive with my time so Paps wouldn't be suspicious.

Turning to my dwindling supply of virgin fake cocks, I eyed the next one with a bit of trepidation. After all, thirteen inches of unyielding pseudo flesh wasn't exactly the easiest thing to face. But the sight of it also intrigued and aroused me, and my slightly flagged erection came back full force as I began to prep the toy for its first use.

"Heh, wonder what Sans would do if he could see me." I wondered quietly, covering the purely dark blue cock in lube. Deciding I'd call it the Seaman I laughed before setting myself up again. Another deep breath, and the slowest penetration I could muster began.

It took me the better part of two minutes to get the whole thing seated, and I had to breathe carefully through the pain of such a large phallic object stretching and holding me open. Once the stinging, breath-stealing pain had waned- with the help of the lube and the muscles already being pretty loose- I began slowly thrusting the toy in and out of myself, focusing on the pleasure in the action. It didn't take very long for my body to acclimate, and soon my hand was speeding up, and my moans increasing.

I knew that the words spilling from my mouth were unintelligible, but no one else was around to hear me beg and plead for my absent boyfriend to bone me into next week, so I didn't care what the words sounded like. I was as loud and lewd as I wanted to be, the freedom of being so openly dirty helping me relax and take the fake cock in further. I found that pressing the dildo in almost further than it could go left me gasping as the shaft of the massive toy rubbed against my prostate and explored new territories in my ass. After the pain faded completely it didn't take long for me to take up my edging cycle yet again.

I would thrust the thick cock into myself until my legs shook and I was screaming to come, but then wrench my hand away, sometimes pulling the toy with me to keep any stimulation from making me finish. It was a game, see how close I could get, how badly I truly wanted to use the largest toy in my collection.

Vaguely it occurred to me that I was turning myself into a size queen, but I disregarded the knowledge. I'd asked Alphys months ago about a medication that would keep my anal cavity at virgin-like tightness- purely because I didn't like the thought of my muscles loosening up over time- and as long as I took it regularly I'd be more than happy with whatever my bonefriend was packing in his black shorts.

The thought of Sans using my toys on me nearly had me cumming again, and I had to stop if I was ever going to make it to the largest one, the reason I'd bought any of these in the first place.

I still whined at the loss of the fullness as I pulled the dark blue cock from my ass, carelessly throwing it to join the others on the floor.

The sixteen inch cock- there was no way I wasn't going to call the thing 'The Penetrator', there was nothing else I could even sort of call it- had a suction cup base that you could attach to a wall or a bed frame if you were soloing it, something I found quite useful. Rearranging myself so that my butt pressed against the wall I figured out exactly where to place the dildo so that I could be in the best position to use it in. After a minute of reading the instructions so that I did it the right way, the wall had a massive cock strapped to it, and another minute of lubing it up and I was as prepared as I was ever going to be.

Shifting into the position I took a deep, steadying breath, and slowly began taking the massive toy in.

The first few inches were wonderful, and I could help the moan as I shifted back even more. At what I guessed to be about eight inches it still felt good, but I could tell my muscles were preparing for the worst, so I slowed down and breathed more, willing myself to relax. At twelve the slight burn came back, sharpening quickly as the last four inches slid in. A tear ran down my cheek as I felt my asscheeks press against the wall, and I forced myself to remain still for a few minutes to let the pain die.

It felt like I should be ripped in half, but the pain wasn't that extreme. The pain was about as bad as tripping and falling on your ass, but deeper. The feeling of fullness was what I was after though, the knowledge that I probably couldn't get anything bigger than this inside my body, that I had hit the limit of what I could handle...

That's what finally made me move.

The lube did its job, disguising pain as pleasurable tingling, and the slight burn of the stretch of my muscles around the toy had me moaning out into the empty house. It was better than the thirteen in the way that it had been better than the nine. The absolute full feeling made my cock weep precome onto the towel, making me more glad I had put it down.

It took a minute to work up a good rhythm for fucking myself, to get as much out of my thrusts as possible, and soon I was screaming obscenities as the largest cock I'd ever seen entered and exited me in the best possible way.

I begged for everything-- for Sans to fuck me, touch me, anything. I knew if I even looked at my own cock wrong I'd come all over the towel, so I let my eyes fall shut as I rocked my hips back onto the toy.

All I could think about was Sans. It wasn't the wall supporting the dildo anymore, it was Sans, holding it lazily in his hand as I fucked myself on it, his other hand wrapped around a rib or maybe his own cock as he pleasured himself just watching me. His face set in a lazy smirk, his sockets betraying the lust for me as he greedily stared at my quivering and debauched form.

I managed to find the stamina to edge myself again, pulling off the massive cock completely as I imagined Sans sexily ordering me to stop, to draw out my own pleasure. To sit there through his orgasm and not touch myself, to put on a show for him.

I didn't even pay attention to the kinds of words my mouth was saying, only focusing on my fantasy. The easy charisma Sans had everywhere else was present here too, no reservations about being as dirty with me as possible.

My fantasies were so good I nearly forgot I was actually alone.

When the haze of lust and the desire to come was too much for me to ignore any more I sunk onto the toy and set myself as fast a pace as I could, not moving much distance wise but making up for it in speed and ferocity.

My orgasm approached faster than I thought, and before I was even ready for it the pleasure of all my denied orgasms crashed through me at once, and I screamed out Sans name as I felt myself release, spasms wracking across my body as my cum covered the towel below me. My vision went white and it took a long minute for it to clear, leaving me panting. I managed to ease myself off of the toy and away from the messy towel before collapsing, lost to reality for a few minutes, my hole clenching in the absence of fake cock.

When the haze cleared and all I felt was the amazing exhaustion that comes from sex coursing through me I began to clean up. Figuring it would be easiest to just clean the toys in the shower I headed there first on wobbly legs, laughing at myself as I went.

Cleaning myself up could have been a comedy routine unto itself. Apparently I hadn't managed to evade the towel as well as I thought so there was drying come stuck to my abdomen, plus all the lube I had used was steadily leaking and drying on my thighs. Everything was so sensitive that I yelped quite a bit. Any passersby would think I was giving a small dog a bath rather than a human a shower.

The toys were easier, as the lube was water soluble, so I mostly left them at my feet until I could handle bending down to fetch them.

As I cleaned myself I laughed, in the carefree way that comes from self-pleasure, and stared making plans for the rest of the day.


	2. The Part About Sans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't hide behind my flimsy reasonings anymore. It wasn't fair making Frisk have to wait for my ill-founded insecurities, and it was getting harder to convince myself that having sex with him was a bad idea. He was old enough to know what he wanted, and apparently he wanted me.
> 
> Sans' POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the wait on this second part! I'm still in the process of writing this thing, and its becoming a lot longer than I thought. So- unfortunately- this part is really mostly set up for the third part, and probably ain't that great. But if I stick this in with the last part it will make the whole thing suuuuuuuuuper long- like triple the length of the first part- so now it's its own thing.
> 
> None of this is what I really consider filler though. This explains a lot of my headcannons for these characters and really sets up their relationship more than Frisk explained previously.
> 
> Sorry if you're here expecting the gratuitous smut the last part set up as precedent, this chapter could honestly be rated T.

**SANS** ****

I sat down on the back porch, breathing hard.

"Oh stars..." I whispered, trying to calm my magic.

Like I hadn't just seen the most erotic sight the world had to offer me.

Frisk clearly expected to be alone today, and it seems my initial teleport wasn't enough to make him aware of my presence, because he had carried on as if nothing was amiss, even talking to himself in that cute way he did.

But it was what he was doing...

Clearly Frisk had a purpose for his... actions- don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it- if the color scheme had any say. It was no coincidence that the... largest one... was the exact color of my magic. I couldn't even think about it without a blush raising on my face and magic pooling in my Soul, ready to move south at a moments notice.

The sight of the person I loved most in the world, pleasuring himself when he thought no one was around, screaming my name...

"Gah..." I muttered, pushing my skull into my hands. "Frisk... What are you doing to me?"

Every day it was getting harder and harder to resist his advances. Frisk knew he was wearing me down, that soon I'd give in to his seduction. I didn't want to refuse, I really didn't, but I knew if I did I'd never make it until Frisk turned twenty to bond with him. All things considering, we weren't that far apart in age- if you compare monster years to human the gap was pretty small, but if you factored my age into human years I was several decades too old for my lovely human.

Gotta love different maturity tracts.

I felt a little guilty about suddenly springing the knowledge that Frisk was meant to be with me on him, so I had kept things moving relatively slow until I could be absolutely certain that Frisk had fallen in love with me of his own volition, the same way I had with him. True, legitimate Soulmates were rare because humans couldn't see or really even feel their own Souls and monsters often spent a long time looking without success, and eventually gave up. Supposedly monsters are supposed to meet their mates in the year of their full maturity, as was the case for Tori and Asgore and me and Frisk, but thus far two recorded instances- three if you count Dog Marriage but they were together long before they knew they were Soulmates- didn't make a theory.

There was no mistaking his feelings when the words fell from Frisks' mouth.

Granted they were a bit garbled, but if you were paying as rapt attention as I was, the phrase "I love you Sans" was clearly audible amongst the other... sounds.

"Shoulda told me, kiddo." I breathed out, finally deeming myself reigned in enough. Pressing my skull to the door, I faintly heard Frisk singing, so I figured now would be as good a time as any to fulfill my actual plan of spending my impromptu afternoon off with him.

Gathering my magic- to burn off a bit of steam- I teleported inside onto the exact same spot I always did, catching Frisk off guard.

"Heya Sansy." He said after a beat, a bright smile arcing across his face.

"Hey Frisky. Got a rare afternoon off and I figured I'd spend it with my favorite human, if that's okay with you." I said as casually as possible, smiling back.

"Of course it's okay with me! Why wouldn't I wanna spend time with my bonefriend?" That smile was gonna be the death of me. He could really light up a room when he smiled like that.

"Dunno. Maybe you had some other pans lined up." I said, gesturing to the pan in his hand. Frisk must have been making himself lunch when I came in.

I could almost hear the 'ba-dum-tish' before it came, and after it we both laughed for a minute.

"I'm makin' food, want some?"

"Have I ever said 'no' to food in my life?" I replied easily, leaning on the doorframe between the family room and the kitchen.

It turned out to be the most relaxing afternoon I'd had in a while. Being on the Surface was stressful, even after all these years, and it was rare I got to spend time with Frisk unimpeded by work or other people. I was able to bury the memory of Frisk's "activities" for a while and just relax with him.

They did return, of course, as lewd thoughts of my Soulmate always did. There was no way I would've been able to keep my thoughts off his actions for too long, and I slowly came to realize that making him wait so long to bone me- or, the other way around as it were- wasn't doing anyone any favors. I had always been content before with uh... polishing the bone myself, but knowing that Frisk wanted this so badly made it extremely difficult to stick to my guns.

Something as simple as watching your Soulmate... pleasure themselves... makes it hard to even be in the same room with them without taking advantage of the situation.

I couldn't hide behind my flimsy reasonings anymore. It wasn't fair making Frisk have to wait for my ill-founded insecurities, and it was getting harder to convince myself that having sex with him was a bad idea. He was old enough to know what he wanted, and apparently he wanted me.

Of course, I'd have to make myself wait a few days. I knew about the meds Alphys had given Frisk for um... anal maintenance... but they needed a few days to fully work and I wanted to make sure he was virgin tight. Not that I didn't pack something to be proud of when I wanted to, but with something as big as Frisk had gotten...

Plus I needed the few days to ground myself and make a general game plan and figure out some things.

Like how to get Paps out of the house to give Frisk and I ample time to do the deed. He'd been loud- maybe for the first time in his life- and I didn't want anything to lower his volume.

And how to approach the subject of sex in general with Frisk.

The first of these was easier than the second.

I'd gotten more comfortable with my brother dating the overgrown calculator, especially when said calculator treated Paps as well as he did, so I let it slip to my bro that Friday night was the perfect night to take his robot boyfriend out on a date. After screaming about how happy he was that I was approving of Mettaton more, Papyrus rushed off to make the arrangements. From all his fame in the Underground Metta wasn't seeking attention from the humans like he used to dream of, instead being content in his role as the only monster superstar the Underground had ever had. It gave him more time to spend with his cousin and my bro.

So with Paps out on a date until pretty late that left Frisk and I a night alone. Frisk helped Papyrus put together his outfit and get all snazzed up and ready to go while I leaned against various surfaces watching my two favorite boys. I laughed watching them dance around to Frisks' music while Paps was ironing his really good marmalade-colored dress shirt.

Frisk even managed to get Paps to take his gloves off.

"I don't know, Frisk." Papyrus said, glancing uncomfortably at his hands. "My hands aren't exactly the most appealing thing to look at..." he trailed off.

"Goodness gracious Papy." Frisk huffed, hands on his hips. "Metta used to be a ghost for cryin' out loud d'you really think he would think less of you for what something as trivial as your hands looked like? Besides if they're anything like the bones I have under my skin it won't be anything bad. Human hands with no flesh are a little odd but only if you're used to seein' skin. Now c'mon, off with 'em."

Paps sighed before holding his hands out. The red leather came off easily, revealing the slender bones underneath.

"They don't look like human hands, Frisk. That's the issue. The rest of me looks human-like, but not my hands, and I've never enjoyed it." He said quietly, an orange blush raising on his cheekbones as he revealed one of his few insecurities.

Frisk just smiled, taking my brothers' hands in his own.

"Papy you have wonderful hands. Who cares if they look human? You're not a human, you're a monster shaped like a skeleton, not everything is the same. Besides, I think your hands are much cooler than a human skeleton could ever hope to have."

Instead of separated metacarpals like humans had Paps and I sported fused metacarpals. It wasn't a flat bone that made up the palms of our hands-- there were gaps in the middle where the bones grew more slenderly and didn't mesh together with phalanges extending out from there. Certainly a more stable design for a hand considering we didn't have flesh.

Paps hands were a bit different than mine, however. My fingers were dulled at the end, rounded off bones with no bite to them. Papyrus had sharp phalanges, naturally filing into dangerous looking points that hurt to even try and round off. He and I had tried for years when he was younger to dull his fingers but everything we tried hurt him until I made him the protective gloves. They weren't to keep his hands warm, they were to keep him from accidentally hurting someone he didn't mean to.

"Y'know, I knew someone who used to keep her nails sharp like this, though she did it by choice. She used to just use her hands normally instead of actively trying to protect her nails, and in the end it kept them from ever really getting too sharp. I figure you can't really file bones like nail so your best bet would be to wear gloves less often and let your active live dull your claws Papy." Frisk had taken over ironing Paps' shirt now.

"You're not a kid anymore, Papy. You won't hurt anyone." He continued a minute later.

"You know, Frisk, you're really something." Papyrus said, giving him a fond look before gently grabbing his best slacks from his closet.

"Gotta be good enough for your brother after all!" Frisk replied cheekily, winking at me. I could feel my face go blue as my magic caused a blush to spread.

"Of course! My magnificent brother needs a wonderful human at his side! I will only accept the best!" Paps shouted, looking ridiculous with his house pants- jeans- halfway pulled down as he stepped into his favorite pose, magically willing his scarf to flare out like a cape.

Frisk and I both laughed at him as he eventually chuckled and continued shedding his pants. Modesty wasn't something that applied to Papyrus. He didn't care who was around when he needed to change, he just went about it as though nothing were amiss, and had ever since he discovered our summoned flesh didn't have to stick around all the time. Paps claimed it wasn't nudity if you could never see a monsters' private parts.

It didn't take too much longer for Frisk to finish helping Paps. Frisk also managed to convince Papyrus to forgo his scarf, instead letting the shirt expose his neck. All said and done my bro looked like the cover of a magazine, effortlessly classy.

"Are you really sure it's alright to roll up the sleeves on a shirt as nice as this one?" Paps asked, tugging carefully at the rolled cuffs.

"Absolutely. I made sure the sleeves wouldn't wrinkle and if it bothers you, you can always just take it down. I think it looks good though, you've got that "casually dressy" look goin' on."

Before anyone could say anything else, the doorbell rang, signaling my brothers' incredibly loud exit and the start of my plans.

I should have known Frisk would figure out that I was up to something.

"So..." he starts a few minutes after Mettatons car pulls away. "Thought ya didn't like it when Papy went on dates with his metallic suitor."

I sighed. "I can't shelter him forever. Paps is nearly mature, he's old 'nough that I don't really get to disapprove of someone who clearly takes care of 'im. Plus, if they decide that their relationship's pretty serious I gotta get used to seein' my bro on the arm of that automated diva, so it's better to start now." That was one of the reasons I convinced Pap to go out tonight when I have a million and seven favors to cash in with Undyne and Alphys.

"Uh huh. What are you actually planning Sans? I know you love Paps and want him to be happy, but you very obviously wanted him out of the house tonight, and you're terrible at hiding things."

He's persistent. But then, I knew that. Determination is the most powerful attribute for a reason.

"Alright kiddo, you caught me. As a matter of fact I did plan somethin'." I said with a smirk.

Leaning in closely so that my teeth brushed against his ear, I lowered my voice and quietly rumbled, "We're watchin' a comedy special marathon tonight."

The shock on his face faded easily to laughter and I smiled.

"Haha... oh my god... Sans!" Frisk clutched his sides as he laughed, barely getting out anything remotely like English.

"Save your laughin' for the real comedians babe, I just play one on TV." I told him, already heading to the TV to fire up Netflix. My grand master plan was one massive joke. Frisk thought we were literally going to Netflix and chill because the saying had gone out of fashion and I liked making jokes, boy was I ready to prove him wrong.

I queued up a special I'd seen probably too many times, one that had a lot of sexual jokes in it- hence why I loved it- and got as lazily comfortable on the couch as possible while waiting for Frisk to join me.

When he sat down, I threw my legs over his lap. Lowering the tone of my voice again, I wiggled my brow bones.

"Hey baby, my parents aren't home. Wanna come Netflix and chill?" I asked, barely containing my laughter.

A fleshy hand smacked my femurs lightly.

"Give it a rest, Sansy. Your joke was funny enough before. If I laugh too much now I won't be able to laugh at all later." Frisk said, chuckling again.

I did as I was asked, calmly letting the comedy special play.

About two thirds of the way through I could tell Frisk's mind wasn't quite on the jokes anymore. He looked kinda... stressed, so I paused and asked him what was up.

\----  
 **FRISK**

Sans was driving me crazy. I knew something was up when he got Paps out of the house for a night, but he was being stubborn. Probably because this whole thing was a joke of his that he'd pull later, but I was decently sexually frustrated- could you be frustrated if you were still a virgin?- and not in the mood for practical jokes tonight. Especially with the high volume of sexual humor in the stand-up we were watching. Sans sure knew how to pick 'em.

"Everythin' okay, Frisk?" Sans asked, having paused the special we were watching.

"Are you gonna pull some kind of bad practical joke on me?" I asked without preamble.

"Wasn't in the cards, why?" Okay, now I kinda felt bad. Sans was always honest with me when I asked directly.

"It just..." I sighed. "It feels like tonight's some big set up for somethin'. You got Paps out of the house- which you hate doing- you've been actin' weird all week, and you cleaned our room. Which you never do. Can't help but feel like this is the lead up to one of your pranks, 'specially because it's been all quiet on that front for about two weeks."

Sans went quiet for a moment, before shuffling around to lay his skull in the squishy part of my shoulder.

"'M'sorry Frisky. Didn't mean to rile ya up. I was plannin' somethin', but it wasn't a joke. 'Sides my practical joke is for Paps this time. Should happen tomorrow." He took a deep breath, before continuing. "Saw you the day I came home from work early. Kinda rationalized to myself that it ain't fair to make ya wait on my ill-founded insecurities anyway, so I was kinda plannin' to... ya know... bone ya tonight." His voice got quieter, and in his embarrassment he buried his face in my chest. I could feel the warmth of his blush even as my own spread across my face.

"Y-you saw me?" I asked, barely a whisper.

He nodded. "Didn't wanna say anything at the time. I know what I've been doin' makes me a shitty guy, and I get it if you don't wanna do anything tonight. I shoulda told ya earlier but I didn't know how you'd react. I know I kinda told you about the Soulmate thing early, so I wanted to make sure you weren't just bein' you and trying to love me if you didn't. I know that's shitty but I was worried you didn't actually like me and I didn't want to take your virginity if ya didn't want it to be me." He couldn't look up.

I knew he wanted to wait, but I didn't know it was because he was worried I didn't care about him in a romantic way.

I had known I loved Sans ever since I understood what love was. He'd never been a brother to me like Papyrus, and he wasn't fatherly like Asgore. He'd always been my best friend, someone I could always go to who wouldn't lecture and instruct, just listen and give his opinion. He had my back, and I had his.

It had made sense when he told me we were Soulmates. I already knew we fit together like puzzle pieces, that although we were complete beings apart, we belonged together. As friends, as boyfriends, it didn't matter to me. I loved him, but I was happy to be his friend, as long as I got to see him smile and laugh and tell shitty jokes.

I hugged him tighter to me, placing a kiss on the top of his skull.

"Oh Sansy." I murmured, pressing my cheek where I had kissed. "You have to know how much I love you. I've been in love with you nearly my whole life. Having you in my life is the best gift I've ever gotten." I told him.

"Love you too Frisk." He replied, curling into me further.

We sat quietly for a few minutes, before I remembered what Sans said earlier about plans for the night.

"Hey." I nudged him, hoping he hadn't fallen asleep.

"Hm?" His eyelights were open and alert. Perfect.

"Wanna take this upstairs?" I asked, my eyes flashing mischievously.

He chuckled.

"Hold tight, babe"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking it out! Let me know what you think, or if you think this is still worth coming back for the finale. I can't promise it'll be up next week, but that's my hope.
> 
> Wondering if I've got anything else? Currently I have a ton in progress, but everything needs work. Check out my profile, I write in a few different verses, but this work is the first smut I've posted.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to see the second part to this, please be sure to leave a comment. They're always appreciated! Let me know if there's anything I can improve or do better next time! (Also the title is from a Paramore song in case anyone was curious. I get it stuck in my head when I work on this).
> 
> Wonder if I've got anything else? There are a few more works I have ready to post, I think I'll keep my Wednesday posting schedule. Be on the lookout, but you don't have to read it!


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